This is great! Now they have to accept me. There's no way other Friends could out-publish me. Given the chance, I would be the Ben Bradlee of sub-300 circulation internal newsletters. I'd launch Watergate-style investigations into everything . . .
- Who stole the moo-shoo chicken from the Friends fridge? (answer: It was Mildred. Leaving behind pictures of her grandkids in the lettuce crisper totally gave it away.)
- Mere days after George Carlin was announced as the next recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for comedy, he died. Am I crying foulplay? No, but I just want to know where Mildred was that night. Don't you?
- Who's Mildred?
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